Today we welcome Dave Runyon, or as we like to call him, "the Godfather of Neighboring." We discuss what it's like to experience tension with our neighbors, forgiveness, and what it means to be our real, authentic selves. Dave also talks about the deeper conversations that have come from sharing his "top ten" list of parenting values with neighbors.
Buy his book Art of Neighboring if you haven't already.
RUNYON PARENTING TOP 10 LIST
Don’t ever be afraid to stand alone.
We often ask our kids if they have had any opportunities recently to do something, or not do something that most everyone else was doing.
People are more important than things.
I think this has helped our kids have a relatively low desire for material things as they have gotten older.
Delayed gratification is key to thriving in life.
See the big picture vs. what is right in front of you. If kids learn to do this often, they will avoid a lot of consequences that come from bad decisions.
Share with them at different stages about what you would do differently if you could go back in time to their age.
The friends that you choose will have a massive impact on your future.
We have put a heavy emphasis on having a solid group of friends who share similar values and at the same time encouraging them to look for opportunities to be a good influence with others.
Use the same criteria for who you date as you will for who you marry.
Because you will end up marrying one of those people that you decided to date.
Use your “Wizard Brain” instead of your “Lizard Brain.”
When things heat up…the best thing you can do is to step back and slow things down so you can respond from your thinking, instead of your emotions.
Be present & engaged when with people who are older & younger that you.
Teaching our kids to do this when they were young has helped them a lot as they
have gotten older.
Pursue feedback from the trusted adults in your life.
This looks like asking direct questions of teachers, coaches and others.
The way that Jesus talks about living…is the best and smartest way to live.
If they get this, they will have something concrete to center their lives around and they will develop their own convictions around the value of forgiveness, generosity, putting others needs before your own, etc.
Nothing you do will ever make us love you less.